ninjahanabi

Kobayashi Maru Why is all of this so familiar? Like these words we say are a song on repeat and the motions we recreate are replays of reruns of responses and our re-dos are about to repossessed by the recollections of reactions and debts yet to be repaid. Re: What if we were meant to fail? I know this scene by heart. This page in the script is so wrinkled and worn, the words have almost faded. But I know what to say. And I know what you will say. I’ve done this play before. And I know where to stand and where to look and when to push you away. And I know how to make it look like you pushed me back. It’s a simple trick of pull

I remember when I believed in weddings. I would wonder what my dress would look like, what people would see and how their faces would glow as I walked down the aisle. I planned the centerpieces on the tables and how my bouquet would be made of pages from my favorite books and poetry about love and happiness. I thought about how I would love with reckless abandon, how I would throw myself completely into this new commitment, this promise of eternal partnership.   I had such hope for my life and the person I would choose to spend it with. I remember when I believed that life held something special for me. I remember when I believed that my fut

There is nothing worse than night. There is nothing worse than waiting for the dawn. There is nothing worse than the silence that permeates the emptiness, The emptiness that precedes the dark. My life has been full of candles and night lights, Lightbulb hearts to warm me through till dawn. I’ve whispered their names to keep them glowing, And keep the silence at bay until I let them burn out. But I knew that all the fragile hearts Could not fill the void within my chest. I knew that all the names I cried for in the dark Would fall into shadow as the day faded into dusk, Because what I wanted was not another name Another dawn Another sun

I once traded my fins for feet And my song for echoes I traded my kingdom for a beanstalk To carry me away from the shadows of the deep The sunlight glides down on the water The glow rises from a different direction And sets where I once knew home to be This new world is a different type of gentle With a harshness all its own How strange that this place could exist under the same sky That we see by the light of the same sun And make secret wishes on the same stars The sun feels warm on my skin The water looks cool and calm A slight breeze is in air If I turned the waves to rustling leaves, The gulls to geese, If I replaced the sand with mud

Dear Everything I Ever Wanted, Part II, Dear You, the Unknowing One, You are not my KLV2. You are mine. You are perfect in your uniqueness. At least, I thought you were.  Now, I'm not so sure. Maybe we're too different to understand each other. You frustrate me.  Which means I still care. You hurt me. Which means I still love you. You disappoint me.  Which means I still expect so much from you. I must remember. I have to speak to you as if you had never read the book.  Which is true.  I must project this all to you because this movie is the first and only time you will experience this story.

It's not here anymore. I'm not here anymore. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I feel like talking again.

Dear You, the sleeping one, I wish I could tell you these things, but I can't. The words get caught in my tonsils and I choke like a drowning person coming back to life or a soul before its last light fades.  The phrases press their hands and feet against the walls of my throat, and force the weight of their sound upon the surface tension of my silence.  And I am left with no other option than to shut the curtain behind me.  The fact is that I cannot tell you because I fear you would not understand.  I fear that I will start at noon but will awake while you are sleeping.  So I wait till you are already asleep so that maybe I can finish by th

Monday: is always and forever for you. I know the odds are against me And I know they're all for you But I know that I'd die trying Just so you can see me too I know the world's against me And I know it's all for you But I know that I'll keep trying Just to mean something to you I know they're all against me And I know they all love you But I know that I'm still trying To keep away from you I know this is against me And I know you know so too But I know that you're still trying So that they see me like you do "I know this world's against us And I know our skies aren't blue But I know that we'll keep trying To show them I'

Let the life trickle through the veins Let it pulse and throb and beat Softly Weakly Let it pull and push Let it swerve Let it lose all control and fall into the wind Let it go.

I don't dream much anymore There is no need to. When I close my eyes and succumb to imagination, the world is untouched. I do not sleep. Only think. I think about you. Your voice whispers in my ear. I do not dream. Only remember. There is only you. There is only us. There is only what we share. There is only more than love. You speak to me about birds. About seeing them fly. Sparrows, cranes, flamingoes. We murmur about flight, Air currents, landings, horizons. I admit I envy them a little. I admit I envy you a little. I admit I have no reason to. You hold me tighter. The sun echoes through the blinds. The blankets feel